47

Dearest Gentle Reader,

It has been brought to my attention that a certain gentleman in Canada has had a remarkably eventful year. Trips overseas, an engagement, and an impending arrival. With gossip temporarily scarce here in Mayfair, I decided his affairs warranted closer inspection. He is certainly not one of us, nor is he likely to become so. Nevertheless, even a gentleman outside our circles may provide something worth discussing.

When Season 46 ended for Mr. James, according to his blog, he was in a good state of mind with a partner at home, looking after his daughter, and had a growing career working in hotels. While the Queen may look down upon someone who works with the people, I do admire someone who can put up with us on a daily basis because we can be exhausting.

What was hinted at and not clearly stated in that piece is that his Filipina princess left to go across the ocean to the Philippines. It is too bad that she did not come to Mayfair, because from what I have read and heard, she could have been the Diamond of the season and been courted by the likes of Mr. Bridgerton. But alas, she went in the opposite direction and Mr. James went to go visit her in January, his first trip outside of Canada in nearly 15 years. He was quickly whisked away after landing and they both found their way to Bangkok, Thailand. It appears to be an exotic city according to another written piece. They spent far too much time, in my opinion, exploring Song Wat Road in Chinatown, a place I would have ended up lost in. I would definitely have lost my way in ICONSIAM, one of the world's largest shopping centres. Future travels will likely bring him back to that city and country.

The Philippines was equally remarkable on that trip. There was time spent in Angeles City and northwest of Manila, plus more time in BGC within the metropolis. The variety of Filipino food and culture sounds impressive to me; steamy days of 30°C with plenty of sunshine do not. Though, they would be a nice escape from the mild winters of Kelowna.

After 2.5 weeks of being away, Mr. James returned home to Canada. Shortly afterwards, a big football game awarded a trophy to the Seattle Seahawks in a victory to celebrate his return, or perhaps that is by pure coincidence. A few weeks later, his partner returned home to reside with him once again after four long months away.

The springtime brought a renewed energy to them both as they continued to work in the hotel industry. The end of March found the two lovebirds relaxing and exploring Sparkling Hill Resort to celebrate their second anniversary and her birthday. It remains the bright and brilliant palace on the hill overlooking the valley, a suitable place for a future ball if the Ton made their way to the Okanagan. A relaxing night for them both to help prepare for the busy summer season ahead.

During the summer, two surprising events occurred. First, along the shores of Okanagan Lake, Mr. James bent the knee and proposed to his partner. And, dear reader, she declined. So concerned was Mr. James with choosing the perfect moment that he left the ring in his vehicle. His partner—quite rightly, in my opinion—would never accept a marriage proposal without a ring of some kind. So off he went and returned to repeat himself by bending the knee and offering the ring properly.

This time, she said yes, and the two of them are properly engaged.

The other event is the discovery of an unexpected guest due in December. A new son is to be brought into this world and join the McCullough household. The sixth grandchild for Mr. James' parents, and the first for hers. Both families are very excited. There has been a lot of nesting and preparing for this great event. Everyone, including myself after hearing the news, is eager to meet this new little boy. Not even I know the name of the future child.

Because of that announcement, it was quickly decided that Mr. James would move on from working outside the home and return to focusing on the consulting work from home, perhaps more permanently, to provide more support to the future mom and child. Not too surprising given the flexibility he has with this work. He left the hotel job at the end of July, shortly before a second trip overseas. Two weeks there on the first trip were doubled to 30 days this time around. There were too many memories to summarize in one piece, so he ended up writing daily^[1] about his adventures.

Last November, James declared himself ready. One hopes he understood the scope of the announcement.

I wish him well and look forward to witnessing the coming year from afar.

Yours,
Lady Whistledown^[2]

I ended last year’s post with “I am ready.”

Today, I turn 47, am engaged, and am preparing to become a father again in December. I also left the hotel to focus on my consulting work. When I started planning my birthday post last week, my first reaction was, “There is a lot to cover.” I enlisted some assistance.

Besides bungling the engagement embarrassingly like a scene out of a romcom (Bobo Yarn^[3]), I’m happy with this direction in my life. I’ve restricted myself from trying a lot of things for one reason or another, and haven’t been very good about planning ahead. Now, I can understand and appreciate better the marriage my parents have (nearly 55 years now), and also the long marriages of my siblings and other relatives. This isn’t just a fun dance in the rain followed by a hot meal. There are a lot more discussions as we work together, create joint budgets, and manage our resources at home. We talk regularly about what each other's plans are for the day, which is not something I have been accustomed to. We aren’t married yet (date TBD) but we might as well be with the way we work with each other and not against one another. As each day goes on, the connection feels stronger, better. I'm enjoying every minute of it.

I'm going to be a father again, to a son. The more I write the words, it still doesn't feel real. It didn't feel too real with my daughter either until I arrived in Kelowna a few months before her birth. This time, I can see the progression more clearly and have daily reminders that this is real and it is happening. The growing belly on the mother is the clearest way, but all the delivery boxes from Amazon and Walmart showing up make this very real.

I told myself in the past, at least ten years now, that if I were to have another child, I would need to find a partner who really wanted a child. And that I have found in my fiancée. From the moment we discovered she was pregnant to now, she's embraced every step of the way. There are many differences between this pregnancy and the pregnancy with my daughter (who is nearly 17 now, stay tuned), but the biggest one is how information is being shared. Find a stroller you like? Search it up on TikTok and you can find parents demonstrating how it folds, moves, the pros and cons instantly.

It will be different raising a son compared to a daughter, and it will be different raising a child from two cultures rather than one. I am looking forward to the different experiences I can explore with him (my daughter had zero interest in watching sports with me) and repeating other ones (walking along Mission Creek, the kangaroo farm).

Needless to say, I'm excited for both of these changes in my life and I know my partner is too, because as I told my sister today, "She's nesting hardcore."

The shift from working in the hotel back to home was a bit of a nervous change. There is the financial security on one side, but on the other is a bet on myself. With my fiancée's hand pushing hard on that side, it was an easier decision. It felt good to work at the hotel for a few summers and help people around Kelowna. Coming along with the good moments are a lot of negative ones too which I really don't miss the further away I get from that departure.

Being able to focus on myself more, on the business a lot more, has paid dividends. The last few years, I have been stressing myself more trying to make space for meetings, find time to market my services, and do anything for myself to relax or grow. I wrote on Sunday about all the sitting and meditation I have been doing lately. It's a relaxing habit to build with a side effect of providing a lot of confidence in the other areas of my life. Doing it in the mornings shortly after waking up has helped me immensely in getting ready for work or the other things happening. It's made me more into a morning person, too. For instance, I started writing this post at 7:00 AM. Past James writing these birthday posts late at night, bourbon at hand, would be shocked and dismayed.

Building that practice has brought other habits forward. It's far easier to sustain a habit if there is something else attached to it, and in my case that has been reading. In the last few months since leaving the hotel, I've burned through 15 books (audio, Kindle or physical). The more I finish books, the more I want to read, which has also been fueling my desire to write again. It's been a long time coming and I'm glad to be working towards a more regular writing practice.

Overall, I am feeling far less stressed and have a clearer vision of what lies ahead for us. I am still a little nervous about being a father again, mainly because of how different it will be being a father of a newborn at 47 compared to 30. Changing the diapers, feeding bottles, and generally caring for a baby: no problem. Waking up at 5:00 AM to help with a crying baby after being up until 12:00 AM? Not entirely sure how my body will respond, but I will do it without complaining (thank goodness for DoorDash'ing coffee).

But like last year, I am ready.

1. 15 posts so far, with more to come. ↩︎
2. The narrator from Bridgerton (Netflix or book) if one isn't familiar. ↩︎
3. Filipino translation: “Are you stupid or something?” To be clear, she didn’t say that to me, but I was definitely thinking it. And it’s spoken just the way it sounds, a fun phrase for your linguistic toolbox alongside schadenfreude. ↩︎